Advertising gone wild

Hello. I know it has been a while since I have blogged. Something I have learned in the past few weeks is that is is really hard to keep up with two blogs, a family, new and old friends, work, home life, vacations and all those other wonderful things that we try to shove into one 24 hour period after the other. Not gonna happen. Everything takes patience, money and a whole lotta time.

Truth is, lately I have had a bit of writers block. Often times I can think of really interesting, fun or exciting things to talk to you all about and then...life happens. I don't write it down, get busy, walk away and *poof*...it's gone like a fart in the wind. Guess I have fallen off the wagon once again and I am still running it down, trying to catch up.

Tonight is no different. I am resurrecting yet one of the subjects that I was going to write about weeks ago. What sparked it to rise to the surface of my brain once again was this - the amount of crazy advertising I have been seeing and hearing all over the place lately. On billboards, in magazine's, on TV and even on the front of packaging at stores. It's every where and the advertising execs and creators have gone nuts. And I mean literally. I think they are doing the man thing and thinking with their balls and not their brains. Either that or all of the higher ups must be gay or swinging both ways these days.

Prime example - did you know when they built Cardinal Stadium a few years back here in Phoenix, they were debating naming it Pink Taco Stadium (don't believe me? click here)? Now how the hell are we suppose to get players to play in Pink Taco Stadium and make us any money? Those poor boys reputations would go to hell, they would be the laughing stock of the football world and the people would not come to watch games at the "Pink Taco". Hell, why don't we get a few bucks from Tampax, Playtex and Johnson and Johson's while we are at it.

On Facebook, I have a photo album that I have named "Here's Yer Sign", meant for the crazy, insane and outrageous signs, ads and other print media that I am forced to witness, decorating my colorful yet intelligent mind. These are the signs that make you go "hmmmm" and wonder just how it is that these crazy ideas made it to market and are making some idiot millions. Maybe I should have gotten less of a brain and more of the dumb so that I could be making millions too.

So, to prove my point, I have a few advertisements and packaging issues that I would like to bring up here.

The other day when I took my daughter to the doctor's, I was waiting in the lobby and looking at the mags on the table. Of course, there were not any good ones so I picked up Men's Fitness and started reading a really good article about adrenaline type vacation trips and various packages that you could purchase including a combination of these wild adventures. You know sky diving, white water rafting, Maco shark fishing type stuff. Interesting, fun, manly outdoor adventures. When I finished the article however, as I continued flipping through the magazine, I was more than a little disturbed at what I saw. I was surprised to see that this magazine did not seem to marketing to that manly kind of man at all. This magazine apparently was looking to hit that market that caters to a 'man's man' of another kind all together.

Take this ad for cologne by Jean Paul Gautier that really caught my eye. The more I stared at it, the more I realized this ad was simply not aimed at a manly man, or me or any other woman who might be looking to purchase her beau something yummy delicious to put on his skin. The guy is handsome for sure, but what are we 12? Do I really like the whole sailor boy outfit? Not really. I think it looks more like a role playing outfit for a gay swinger perhaps. Better yet, he looks like he works in a cheap oriental massage parlor overseas. Wiping your hands off son? Giving your fellow sailor a helping hand while spending time on foreign shores? I mean really, what do you think this ad is saying to our sons and young men in general? All I can say about it is glad I don't have a son.

And let's talk a little about the bottle itself for a minute. Please! It actually has a "package" wrapped beautifully in frosted glass, sticking out so as to say "look at me, I'm down here". And the built frame is sexy, but wearing a cut off striped shirt for god's sake? Didn't the cut off shirt thing go out with the good old 80's? Or has it made it's rounds and been pulled back out of the proverbial "trunk of style" that's been hiding in mama's attic all these years? It looks like something that you would have seen Queen wearing back in the day, and no REAL MAN back then would have been caught dead wearing something you would see on Freddy Mercury.

What happened to the good old west ads of the Marlboro man riding and wranglin' cattle while puffin on a smoke? Or the Lee jeans and Levi ads that had those good old boys riding bucking broncos and bulls? What happened to all the 'real' men' ads that we use to see? The ones that made men sexy, but rough, gentle but tough? Man has life changed a lot since the good old days, and it ain't lookin that good in my eyes.

Flipping further through the ads, I found this next one. Now, funny thing is, my brother in law Sean just got all excited and showed me these shoes that he had just bought for climbing over Memorial Day weekend. I thought they were weird but he was all the rave about how popular they are becoming and how everyone says they work really good.

I am not really sure what kind of image they are trying to portray here, but I am definitely not looking at the shoes. Fact is, my eyes don't even go that far down the page and I couldn't care less (honestly) if he was wearing golden wings on his feet - I would not have noticed. Besides, I don't want him wearing shoes anyway if he is going to be naked. Shoes off when you are in my bed. And this was in a men's mag? Hello? The last time I knew of a man looking at another naked man like this, it was probably in the downtown Phoenix jail where Bubba was probably looking at his crank and wishing it was in this guys ass. Seriously, you could not think of something better to put together along with the "Less shoe, more you" tagline here? Like maybe showing a really crazy climbing stunt and focusing more on the hobby that these shoes were made for than on the body of a naked man?

I am beginning to think perhaps the men executives for all of these companies might be gay...or related, or gay and related or gay and in a relationship with each other or perhaps gay and all part of the same swingers club. Another instance of male targeting in all the wrong ways - this ad I found a few weeks ago I believe in one of the traveling mags on the airplane. Love the logo Gravity Defyer. Like you could not have picked something else besides the shape of a sperm to get your point across? Does running bring up the sperm count or something?

And why are all these ads leaving me wondering what the hell it is that the advertiser is trying to say to me with ads like these? That's not good. Isn't the point of advertising to make your target audience excited about your product and make you want to go out and buy it? So who are you targeting exactly? Do you think I want to be caught dead with spermies on my shoes or buying my guy a bottle of cologne with a nutsack staring back at him when he pulls it out of the box? I don't think so. And I can't really see a mom or dad buying these for their son, a sister for a brother, a girl for a guy or any other human combination except for two gay guys. If my guy pulled that cologne out of the box on Christmas morning in front of my family or during a birthday celebration with friends around, he would have a friggin heart attack!

So, the further I flipped through the magazine, the more I was amazed with wonder. Wondering how the hell I was going to smuggle these damn ads home so I could photograph them and write something about the 'shell shock' that I got from looking through a men's mag at the doctor's office. Another ad/sign to add to my "Here's Yer Sign" collection. Something interesting to talk about, something to write about on my blog. Well, here ya go. A mix of my stolen advertising pics and the ramblings of a crazy old marketing bitch looking for her next photo fix :)

That's all the babbling I think I will do for tonight peeps. I'll see you next time at the oriental massage parlor, when I go for my next rub n squirt, wearing my spermies or toe shoes and smelling like one hot sack of nuts.

Cheers!