Funny Mom's - another draft that should have been posted on 8/28

Today my friend's wife Donell posted this on Facebook:

I have now formally resigned my position as FT Mom....WANTED:  FT maid, cook, taxi driver, medical assistant, fashion adviser, personal assistant and PT referee. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. No pay or benefits available.

To which I replied:

I already had that job and the pay sucked, so I decided to take up other job positions - Head of the "I don't give a shit" club, Leader of the "Not my problem" society and President of "Mother's Against Kids"! The pay(back) is much better and it gives me a sense of joy and happiness...

To which her friend Debi commented:

Tina, you are my kinda CEO!

And now I say - MOM'S UNITE! WE ARE NOT STANDING FOR THESE SHITTY JOBS ANYMORE! We are overworked, underpaid, get no benefits and little satisfaction from our jobs. It's time to do something about it! Let them cook their own dinners, clean their own house, dishes, laundry and bathrooms. The yards you can forget about. Who cares if your neighbors look upon you with disgusted eyes. Put a sign in the yard that says "Not my job ~ Mom" and forget about it. Let them walk their asses to school, come up with their own lunch money and write their own excuse notes. Force them to take the bus, ride a bike (or horse or cow or whatever) and get to where ever they are going on their own accord. Just imagine the laughter when their friends see them pulling up to the mall by those modes of transp. You got hurt? Oh poor thing! Go find the bandaids and the Neosporin that are probably in your room somewhere hiding under one of the piles of crap you are collecting. Go fish through all the shit like we (as moms) do. And by the way,  at some point I would like to find a couple of dishes in the cupboards when I go to get one. I do not buy them for you to grow experiments in while you are hiding out in your lab watching fungus grow.

All I can say is, payback is a bitch and I can't wait until these little leeches find a new host. Any host will do - boyfriends, friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, strangers on the street. Let them suck the life out of someone else for a few weeks!

Anyone want some FREE children?