A lesson in rattlesnakes

Hello! I know, I know...it's been a while. I have had several ideas for posts, but just have not had the motivation to write daily. Too busy!

This post is one I have been wanting to post for a few weeks, but with another "Dumbass of the Day" by yet another member of my family yesterday, I felt it was time to sit down and get r done.

So about a week ago, my husband Will was on a jobsite and stepped out of his truck to survey the scene for a minute. He felt something touch his boot, but thought perhaps it was just that he had kicked something and proceeded to evaluate where he was going to need to be on site. A few minutes later, he felt the tapping on his boot again and looked down to where he was standing. To his surprise, he was being bitten on the steel toe by a little baby rattlesnake!

Thank goodness it was a baby! An adult one may have had the stretch to go higher than the boots and it would have bit right through the pant leg and into the leg, which would have not been good.

He jumped back, reached into the back of his truck to grab his shovel and chopped it's head off. He said he would have left it alone had it of showed no interest in him. But it was attacking him so he had to kill it. He said the little thing was so aggressive that it's head actually turned around and was biting the shovel!

Will brought the little thing home, minus the 4 inches of destroyed head and neck that were destroyed in the beheading. I am reminded of that day every time I open my deep freezer. He froze the damn thing to show us and it scares the hell out of me every time I open the freezer!

Over this past Labor Day weekend, I was telling the story to my two sisters and mother while sitting out by the pool. At a certain point during my story, my sister Traci turned to her son and said "Just remember son, if you are ever get bit by a rattlesnake, pee on it." Commenting to this, my mom says "I don't understand how peeing on the snake is gonna do anything other than piss him off."

I think my sisters and I were wondering what the hell mom had been smoking that afternoon. I then explained to her "No mom, you pee on the wound, not the snake." and then my inner smartass took over: "Hey! This thing just bit me can you pee on it for me?" We all were laughing so hard at her! My poor mom, always the smart one and has to deal with us making fun of her "blonde moments". Of course I told her she was going to get the "Dumbass of the Day" on my blog. It was just too good not to post.

Anyway, for any of you that are interested in a little factual information about snakebites, I have come up with the following:

1. If the area of the bite begins to swell and change color, the snake was probably poisonous.
2. One in four bites are dry bites, which means no venom was injected.
3.You are NOT suppose to cut it with a knife or sharp instrument. Do NOT suck out the venom (this could lead to you becoming poisoned, mouth swelling etc.), do NOT put ice or anything cold on the wounds and do NOT give the person any medication or anything by mouth. DO put a constriction band a few inches above the wound, DO keep the wound below heart level, DO remove anything like rings, watches or bracelets that may become stuck when swelling occurs and DO keep the person calm and get medical care as quickly as possible.
4. Snakes can still bite for an hour after they are dead.
5. As far as urinating on the wound, I could not find anything about this online as far as a snakebite is concerned. I did, however, find and have heard that urinating on a jellyfish sting is an effective method to reduce pain, but I wonder if it works the same with a snake bite? If anyone has ever peed on a snakebite and knows the answer to this question, I would love to know the truth.

One last lesson here - please never forget that mother nature bites, literally. Always be aware of your surroundings and watch your step when you are out and about in wilderness areas. Most importantly, teach your kids about nature and a few of the rules that you follow when visiting natural areas. While mother nature has made some beautiful areas and creatures to be admired, we have to respect these things and realize that they can be dangerous.

Until next time, happy trails...minus the snakebite :)

Dumbass of the Day - My mom

My dad has been visiting this week from Los Angeles and so we went out to mom's to visit and hang out with them this past weekend. While I was there, I got a good "Dumbass of the Day" comment from, of course, one of my family members. So for Saturday, October 24 the "Dumbass of the Day" has got to go to my mom.

Mom and I were watching movies together Saturday night since Will and Dad had gone to sleep. We had already watched one and I had purchased a couple at the store earlier on the sale rack. Will and I liked the movie "Fool's Gold" because as you all know, we love to free dive (and Mathew McConaughey is one of my favorites, as is Kate Hudson), so that was one of the ones I had purchased. However, mom had not seen it so I suggested that we watch.

When the names were rolling at the beginning of the movie, I noticed one of them was Malcolm Jamal-Warner. I stated to my mom "Hey, I think that was one of the guys that played on the Cosby Show". Her reply - "Yea, it was. He was the black kid." Well no shit. My reply - "Mom, they were all black kids!". DUH! We laughed so hard I almost fell off the couch! I told her she was making her "dumbass of the day".

Well, I'm not sure how much of my gene pool is redneck or hillbilly, but at this point, I am guessing there was some inbreeding going on somewhere. At least they are good for some comedic moments!

LOVE YOU GUYS!

Little Boys who grow up to be Little Boys

Saturdays "Dumbass of the Day" has got to go to my husband Will. I just so happened to be doing some crafting out back and he decided to keep me company for a while. I was really into what I was doing and I wasn't really paying much attention to him. I was not aware of what he was doing but knew he was keeping himself busy, walking around the backyard, playing with the dog, looking in on the chickens. All of a sudden he broke the silence and said "Look honey, look what I made - Petroglyphs!" As I looked Will was proudly displaying a water design on our back cinderblock wall. As he proceeded to tell me that he saw a 'giraffe, a turtle etc...' I wondered how he had made it since the hose was not on - but then it dawned on me - he had spray peed all over the place! Anyone who knows Will knows that one of his favorite things to do is pee in the backyard out in nature. He says he's 'watering the trees' which is probably a good thing since we don't water back there. But this was the first time he had ever decided to display his 'artwork' for anyone to see. It made me laugh so hard at the time, that of course, I had to take a few photos of Picasso himself. Men, I swear. Can't live with them, can't live without them and they certainly, most definitely never, ever grow up!

Dumbass Comment of the Day

Sorry I have not written lately :( Truth be told - I miss you old mighty blog! I want to write, explore, post! But alas, some things in life just can't wait and this blog can. Like work. And Homework. And household duties. And let's not forget husbands, children, animals, phone calls, emails and all the blah, blah stuff that we have to deal with on a daily basis.

Today is Friday. It's almost time to skip out and have a beer, and boy am I glad! I'm just glad today was better than Wednesday. I got up to dog diarea all over my bedroom and then proceeded to go to work and lock myself out of my own office. I just hate those days! Those are the days I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

But, on the brighter side of things, just a few minutes ago my sister called and brightened up my day. She wanted to share with me a little story of "something not many people have seen before" and proceeded to tell me about all these really big caterpillars in her garden. I then told her those were tomato worms and she'd better read up on them and get them out before they destroyed her garden. What I got back was a "Hmmm...so maybe that's why my tomatoes aren't growing!". Anyway, what she then told me made my day. Her 'something that not many people have seen' was this - caterpillar poo. Yes, I said POO! She saw the damn thing poo! Not only did she see it poo, but she just had to describe it to me -color, shape and all - and then told me that they "looked like miniature grenades". What a nutcase huh? All I kept asking myself is, why was she looking at it close enough to see it poo? Mo, can you answer this???

She warned me that I would laugh. And I am. Still. Glad you got to experience this and share it with me Mo. However, with all due respect, I am posting this as the "Dumbass Comment of the Day".

I love you Mo. I love my family and all the crazy, stupid shit they do and say. You all make me laugh on a daily basis. If you can't live, laugh and love with your family and friends, what else is there in life? :)

Peace!

Photo of the Day admission and Dumbass of the Day for 9/3 (I think)

I have been meaning to make this post but obviously I have been caught up in my busy schedule lately. I've fallen off the photo of the day bus (sorry!) a few weeks back. I can honestly say, it is a project that I have to undertake and stick too at some point, but right now it's just not going to work. My schedule is too hectic to be posting every night and I am sorry. I have missed some great pictures from not having my camera along my side at every moment. On Patriots Day, I missed a red white and blue hot air balloon right over old town Gilbert when I went to work in the morning. I also missed all the beautiful flags up and down the street that day. Each light post in old town Gilbert has two flag holders on each side of it and on this day, the had put them all out to commemorate the 9/11 event. In addition, the American Legion across the street had all their flags up, which when I counted was 9 that I could see, and they had tied big yellow ribbons all the way down the little iron fence around the building. It was beautiful! Sorry that you could not all see it.

In addition, I have missed photographing some great clouds, my family and friends and some other odds and ends type stuff that I have seen while I have been out. I saw the strangest thing going to school the other night - a man riding an electric cooler. Yes, I said cooler! I saw it and was like 'man, I should have my camera right now! No one will believe this one!"

Truth be told, I want one of those things! It was cool. I decided to research it on the internet. Turns out there is such a thing! It's called the "Cruizin Cooler" and costs about $500. The guy is making a fortune off of these! I had some flashbacks of this being the perfect ride for NASCAR races. Screw taking the tram back and forth in that large parking lot - just ride your cooler to the bar! You can drink along the way!

Personally, I like the 'Cruisin Cooler Wagon', which I think is the ultimate redneck ride. It has the wagon fer yer kids or yer dog. Oh, or yer guns.

See what people come up with? I swear, one of these days my inventions are going to fly. Anyway just wanted to share that little story with ya cause I could not believe my eyes when I saw it.

Now on to my families "Dumbass of the Day" story. This happened 3 Thursday's ago and I have been meaning to post it, but well, you know, I got kinda busy. Anyway, I was briefly checking in on Facebook and my sister had posted this note: "I spent the day thinking I was going to make enchiladas. What I came home to was an ordained minister husband and news that I was hosting a wedding in my back yard. Interesting....". Of course this comment was reason enough for me to pick up the phone. Turns out the neighbors, we won't mention any names but will just call them "the bartender and the sheriff", decided they wanted to get married. And not in the future but in the NEAR FUTURE. Like now. So Drew went online and became an ordained minister. Then he set up the backyard with candles and added some lights to the bar. And then Mandie came home and was thrown into the mix. So she went to the store, bought a cake and some flowers, dug out her wedding glasses and cake topper and got ready to host a wedding. In her backyard, after work, with 6 people and the dogs in attendance, on a Thursday night. But THEN Drew wondered how legitimate his training was in ministry. So they called up a friend who is an ordained minister and she came right on over and performed the ceremony.

Huh? My family seems to be moving more towards the 'redneck' status than I thought. And at a quicker rate of speed than I thought. Anyway, on to more productive things. I gotta get some homework done. I have a test on Thursday and have not read a thing. I'll check back in in a few days.

Peace and Love and all that crap!

Funny Mom's - another draft that should have been posted on 8/28

Today my friend's wife Donell posted this on Facebook:

I have now formally resigned my position as FT Mom....WANTED:  FT maid, cook, taxi driver, medical assistant, fashion adviser, personal assistant and PT referee. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY. No pay or benefits available.

To which I replied:

I already had that job and the pay sucked, so I decided to take up other job positions - Head of the "I don't give a shit" club, Leader of the "Not my problem" society and President of "Mother's Against Kids"! The pay(back) is much better and it gives me a sense of joy and happiness...

To which her friend Debi commented:

Tina, you are my kinda CEO!

And now I say - MOM'S UNITE! WE ARE NOT STANDING FOR THESE SHITTY JOBS ANYMORE! We are overworked, underpaid, get no benefits and little satisfaction from our jobs. It's time to do something about it! Let them cook their own dinners, clean their own house, dishes, laundry and bathrooms. The yards you can forget about. Who cares if your neighbors look upon you with disgusted eyes. Put a sign in the yard that says "Not my job ~ Mom" and forget about it. Let them walk their asses to school, come up with their own lunch money and write their own excuse notes. Force them to take the bus, ride a bike (or horse or cow or whatever) and get to where ever they are going on their own accord. Just imagine the laughter when their friends see them pulling up to the mall by those modes of transp. You got hurt? Oh poor thing! Go find the bandaids and the Neosporin that are probably in your room somewhere hiding under one of the piles of crap you are collecting. Go fish through all the shit like we (as moms) do. And by the way,  at some point I would like to find a couple of dishes in the cupboards when I go to get one. I do not buy them for you to grow experiments in while you are hiding out in your lab watching fungus grow.

All I can say is, payback is a bitch and I can't wait until these little leeches find a new host. Any host will do - boyfriends, friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, strangers on the street. Let them suck the life out of someone else for a few weeks!

Anyone want some FREE children?